Cooking with Akatsuki!
by Shiimu Silverwind
Summary: A cooking show with the members of the Akatsuki Itachi and Deidara are going to be in most, not always cooking though.
1. Introduction

**Cooking with **_**Akatsuki**_

**Introduction**

**Itachi: Wait cooking with Akatsuki! Why I oughta!!!**

**Deidara: - jumps in front of SS- Don't kill her or she can't write lemon fics of you and your precious Hinata, if you kill her she can't write about me and Tenten either, yeah!**

**Tenten: ...**

**Sasori: -walks in- What happened, oh hi SS umm... what are are you doing**

**SS: Oh hi Sasori-sama! Me and my friend decided while watching food network to make this thinking it would be funny to make, Itachi-kun!**

**Itachi: Sorry, Deidara. And SS you sound like my brother's fan girls.**

**In Konoha**

**Sasuke is being chased by every girl in Konoha except Hinata and Tenten. Naruto and Kiba are happy about their work being done by giving the girls his cell number and home address.**

**back in chat**

**SS: Well me and Tsukuyomi Mistress must get back to writting and Zetsu you're gonna have a good feast.**

**TM: -nods-**

**Zetzu: FOOD!!! -puts on bib with Hidan soup on it- Can I eat Hidan? Can I! Can I!! PLEASE!!!**

**Hidan:- hides behind TM- Help me. T.T**

**Zetzu: FOOD!!! -chases Hidan across room-**

**Hidan: AHHH!!!**

**Itachi: ...**

**Sasori: ...?**

**Deidara: -pulls out bucket of popcorn- This is good... -hold popcorn up to SS and TM- Want some?**


	2. Chapter 1: Deidara

CWA

**Kisame: -wakes up- What happened?**

**Deidara**: **So... Sasori I'm thinking of doing a seafood one how about you,** **yeah?**

**Kisame: No... -thinks about his little fishy friends-**

**Sasori: -winks at Deidara noticing Kisame woke up- Yes, that sounds good I love a good sushi dish, have you ever tried shark?**

**Deidara: No but I heard it's delicious and we already have one here if you know what I mean, yeah.**

**Kisame: -faints-**

**Sasori: Now that was fun.**

**SS: What happened you two?**

**Both: -looks at Kisame- Umm... nothing...**

**Deidara:...yeah.**

**SS: What ever. Deidara you're up first!**

**Deidara: Finally my big day-view, yeah!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto of any of it's characters but if I did did I'd be pretty damn rich, yeah!!!**

**Kitchen**

"**Hi and welcome to **_**Cooking with Akatsuki!**_** A new reality cooking show for the Akatsuki members... not cooking the Akatsuki member's Zetzu!" say's a female voice over the intercom. Then hearing in the backround Zetzu's voice either saying 'I wanna eat Hidan'** **or 'Hidan soup! Hidan soup!'** **Then Hidan mumbling some prayer to his god.**

"**Well anyway today's special guest is Deidara! Welcome to the show!" say's the same female voice.**

"**Thank-you random woman we hear but never see. It is a pleasure to be here, yeah. Today I will be making-"** **Deidara was interupted by Kisame running in on set.**

"**Noo... don't eat my little fishy friends like you ans Sasori were saying!!! PLEASE!!! FISH ARE FRIENDS NOT FOOD!!!" Kisame finished that last part while being dragged off set by his feet by Itachi and Sasori. **

"**We'll take are of him Deidara." said Itachi activating the Mangekyo Sharringan. **

"**God can't you take a joke Kisame." he cleared his throat then was interupted again by a Kisame screaming 'Nooo!!! Don't hurt goldy!!! Noooo!!! She was my one and only friend... my pet gold fish... oh cruel world! Take me instead!!!'. Followed by Itachi slapping Kisame across the face. Saying 'Shut up it was a goldfish cracker you idiot the real fish is over there!!!' (TM: God the random things you can come up with 2:30 in the mourning. SS: Shut up!) **

**Kisame runs over to his beloved goldy. "I will never let them bad men hurt you."**

"**Yeah..." said Deidara. "Well I will be making for you... PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY!!!"**

**Konoha- Sasuke's NEW hidden house**

"**God and I thought my brother was stupid." said Sasuke watching the live tv show.**

**Back stage**

"**And I thought Sasuke was idiotic." said Itachi stabbing a Sauske plushie with one of his many kunai.**

**Kitchen**

"**Okay first we pre-set our oven to 360 degrees celcius (Yes I'm Canadien) and get out our bread, yeah." Said Deidara doing just what he said.**

"**Okay... 360... bread... wait 360 degrees celcius god Deidara are you trying to destroy my house when I try and cook it?" said the female voice. "Nevermind don't answer that I don't wanna know."**

"**Shut up I know what I'm doing I learned it all from my book **_**The idiots guide **__**on what NOT to **_**do**** for PB **_**and J**_** well then. Now we put down one piece of bread, then on top of that we put gun powder, then a bid slab of peanut butter, a few drops of flammable gas, yeah." he said getting his ingredients and putting them together. "Jelly, some of my chakra filled clay and then the other piece of bread."**

"**Fishy, fishy!" said Kisame with goldy and her fish bowl in hand. **

"**I have a bad feeling about this." said Sasori back stage. "So I'll hide in my bomb shelter in case of Deidara's hyper moments but this is a good excuse to go there. C'mon Hidan this is gonna get ugly." Sasori dragged Hidan down with him in there. **

"**What is Deidara doing?" asked Hidan.**

"**He is about to put a bomb in an oven." Sasori calmly replied.**

"**Oh, good lord save me!" He kneeled down praying to his god.**

"**Now all we do now is put our sandwhich into the oven for 5 minutes to heat, put in longer or shorter for different results yeah." he said putting it in. Then Deidara got his common sense back '**_**Gun powder + gas + clay BOOM!!!'.**_

"**Oh crap!!!" he brought his hands away from the oven and ran past Kisame still praising his gold fish.**

**BOOM!!! The oven had exploded a flying chunk of peanut butter had flew into the fish bowl and killed Goldy. No one else was seriously harmed except Kisame losing his best friend. A funeral was held later that same day. Where Goldy went down the right way... down the toilet pipe.**

** ( " ) THE END ( " ) **

**(Im memory of Goldy)**

**Kisame: -sniffles- She was so brave.**

**Deidara: I'm sorry but it wasn't my fault Sasori had given me sugar earlier that day.**

**Sasori: You have no proof.**

**SS: Well the end. -pats Kisame- I'm sorry but I need some drama in this.**

**Kisame: Okay... as long as no more fishy friends dying.**

**Zetzu: Can I please eat Hidan???**

**SS: Maybe...**

**Hidan: Noooo!!! is dragged off by Zetzu-**


End file.
